“The Purity Myth” is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. When I lost my virginity as a high school freshman, I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel changed somehow. Wasn’t this supposed to be, like, a big deal? Later, in college, as I’d listen to male friends deride their sexual partners as sluts and whores, I struggled to comprehend how intercourse could mean one thing for men and quite another for women. I knew that logically, nothing about sex could make a girl “dirty,” but I found it incredibly frustrating that my certainty about this seemed to be lost on my male peers. And as I talked to my queer friends, whose sexual experiences were often dismissed because they didn’t fit into the heterosexual model, I started to realize how useless “virginity” really was.Dawn Eden, please call your office.
I started to see the myth of sexual purity everywhere — though in the work I do as a feminist blogger and writer, it wasn’t exactly hard to find. Whether it appears in a story about a man killing his girlfriend while calling her a whore or in trying to battle conservative claims that emergency contraception or the HPV vaccine will make girls promiscuous, the purity myth in America underlies more misogyny than most people would like to admit.
And while the definition of “virginity” is fairly abstract (as you’ll see in Chapter 1), its consequences for young women are not. And that’s why I wanted, and needed, to write this book. “The Purity Myth” is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that it has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.
Conflicting messages upsetting young women? No problem! Disregard the moral messages, and embrace the "if it feels good, do it" ethic!
The libertine hates virtue, and wishes to destroy it, because the libertine wishes to replace real virtue with a new system of false virtue that elevates pleasure and selfishness to the highest ideals.
There certainly is a culture war in this nation, and the other side is better deployed, better trained, better organized, and better deployed than we are.
Thank you, NBC and Today for giving this pernicious propaganda an airing. I don't suppose you'd consider giving the other side equal time?
Nah.
25 comments:
The evidence is in and the debate is over (to steal a phrase). Women are not made for casual sex. It isn't just spiritual harm.
Women who "hook up" are much more likely to be depressed. Their future relationships are likely to have negative effects as well.
Laura Stepp presented the negative consequences of hooking up in her book: http://www.laurastepp.com/unhooked/qa.html
There are others as well, but our culture refuses to acknowledge there are differences between men and women. Purity is not a myth, the idea that women can act like unrestrained men and not be affected by it is the myth.
Paul,
The reason why the other side tends to be better deployed, better trained, better organized, and better deployed is because they have more time for political and social causes than we do. Most liberals tend be young. Many are still in college. They also don't tend to have families because they hate children. If they do have children, it is usually only one or two, and they allow the state to raise them. The other side has a lot of free time, because of their lifestyle, to take up causes. I haven't even made a post on my blog because I am busy working and raising my three children.
As for purity only being a virtue for females, I can say that, as a male, I wish I had remained pure until I was married. I wish the importance of it had been taught to me. We are jealous creatures because our Creator is a jealous God. Past fornication can hurt future relationships. Doing the most intimate and personal act that you can do with another without a lifelong commitment is only going to lead to a broken heart, at the very minimum. Once your heart has been broken, you will be carrying baggage around with you and bringing into each successive relationship.
My wife uses a great analogy about china vs. paper plates. Why do we treat china the way we do? Because china is valuable. Valuable items are treated with care. Valuable items are only used for special occasions. However, paper plates are cheap and mass produced. Once they are used once, they are thrown away. They are not valuable. This author of the "Purity Myth" is clearly bitter. She is bitter because she has been mistreated by men. However, right or wrong, she is mistreated because she is not valuable. She presents herself and her sexuality as a paper plate. Why should she be treated with value when she has so freely given herself to so many with seemingly no discernment?
Well let me know when you do get around to posting to your blog, because if your posts are like this comment, I'll want to read them.
I love the caricature of the liberal / libertine:
They don't tend to have families because they hate children.
They hate virtue, and wish to destroy it, because the libertine wishes to replace real virtue with a new system of false virtue
Does he eat children as well?
At least one abortionist has been accused of eating aborted babies.
It isn't a caricature of liberals. I used to be a liberal - a raging liberal. I'll have to post on my blog about how raging a liberal I was. I live in a liberal state. Most of the people I work with are liberals. My parents are liberals. In fact, my wife and I are the only conservatives in both of our families.
After having just two kids, most everyone in our family asked us, "You are done now, right?" My mom equated my wife to the "old woman who lived in a shoe" because we had two children 13 months apart. Remember the old woman had so many children that she didn't know what to do. Apparently, 2 children is a lot of children according to liberals.
I work with a liberal, who never had children, that has stated how she could be a juror in a child murder or rape case but could never sit on an animal cruelty case because she can't stand people who are cruel to animals. Another liberal woman I work with, who also never had children, said that her parents should have never had children. When I pointed out how that would mean she would not have been born, she replied that she still would have been born; she just would have been born to different parents. My parents didn't see their grandchildren for nearly a year because my dad was mad about my stance on the Iraq War. Another woman I work with, with two children, puts both of her children in daycare all day, while she drives an expensive Acura and says she can't afford to stay home. How can you say that you love your children when everything comes before your children? She would never let anyone else drive her expensive automobile because she wouldn't trust them with it, but she will trust complete strangers to raise her children for her.
Liberals do hate children. It isn't rhetoric or an ugly caricature.
I have a conservative friend who is a compulsive liar, and racist.
Are you a lying racist too? You must be, right?
Yeah, Oliver, that's what we are. We must be, after all, if we disagree with you.
Lying and racism are inconsistent with conservatism. But hatred of children is intrinsic (remember that word?) to liberalism.
You may say, "but I love my children." That's nice. If true, it suggests that you're an inconsistent liberal, and there is yet hope for you.
Paul said:
hatred of children is intrinsic..to liberalism. Could you explain how and why, with examples. Is it just unborn children or born ones as well?
There have already been examples posted.
The reason is that liberalism is an inherently selfish philosophy, and children require an immense degree of selflessness.
For additional examples of liberals hating children, see the comments here.
So liberal parents are not capable, or rather, are not as capable of raising children than conservative ones?
And you make that generalisation to all those who would describe themselves as liberal?
It gets very tiresome, Oliver, when you continuously try to put words in my mouth.
I already wrote: "You may say, "but I love my children." That's nice. If true, it suggests that you're an inconsistent liberal, and there is yet hope for you."
Do try to keep up.
Oliver-
You have a conservative friend? Do you two just argue all the time? Are you sure he is a conservative and not just a lying racist? I know how difficult it is for liberals to tell the difference.
I hope you do love your child or children. Liberal parents are capable of raising children, they just tend not to. They would rather that the village raise their children instead. I just have a couple of questions for you. Is your child in daycare? Why or why not? And are you open to having more children? Why or why not?
Paul, I apologize that these comments have gotten off-topic. We aren't discussing purity. If Oliver wishes to continue this discussion, I could open up a post on my post-less blog.
Okay, so we have empirically proved that Liberals hate children and families and stuff. And if a liberal does have children and appears to like or even love them, then he is an inconsistent liberal, or one more than capable in subterfuge and dissimulation (for he is probably raising the children from some other selfish purpose).
If this is the case why ask me about my children? Of course they're in daycare and of course I'll only have more if someone else will indoctrinate them for me. I hate children, remember?
Denigration is sin, or not? (or just not for Catholic bloggers)
If you feel denigrated it is only because you feel guilty. I believe you are sensitive about this issue because it hits too close to home. If daycare is so wonderful, why are so many people who put their children in daycare defensive when they talk to stay-at-home moms or husbands with stay-at-home wives? I don't talk about these issues at work, yet the ladies I work with, who put their children in daycare, are so defensive just because they know my wife stays home. The women at my work used to say they couldn't afford to be home, now they don't say that because my family is making it work while I make the same income as they do. I'm just trying to open your eyes to the lie you have bought into. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make it right. People have become dependent upon others to care for their children. What did families do just 100 years ago?
By the way, I'm not Catholic, I'm a Lutheran. However, Paul and I agree on many issues.
If I hate children why would I feel guilty about childcare?
Oliver, when the President of the U.S. calls babies a "punishment," and changes U.S. policy to fund abortions overseas, I know that liberals hate children.
When the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives advocates spending money intended for economic stimulus on contraception and abortion, I know that liberals hate children.
When the media works so hard to make people think that homosexual relationships are equivalent to marriage, I know that liberals hate children.
When hundreds of people comment on this blog about how much they hate the Duggar family for having 19 children, I know that liberals hate children.
When the world's oldest political party, the U.S. Democratic Party, has as a non-negotiable foundation of its platform that babies can be killed for any reason or no reason, I know that liberals hate children.
When the United Nations threatens third world nations with withholding aid unless they liberalize their abortion laws, I know that liberals hate children.
When Planned Parenthood covers up statutory rape and facilitates minors getting abortions secretly, I know that liberals hate children.
When the greatest nation in the world elects as its president a man who successfully worked to prevent passage of a law that would have required medical care to babies born alive during an attempted abortion, I know that liberals hate children.
When my own Senator works with the new Secretary of Education (also from Chicago) to prevent poor kids in Washington, D.C., from going to the same private schools their kids go to, I know that liberals hate children.
Every time that liberals tell a mother of two or three that she has enough -- or even too many! -- children, I know that liberals hate children.
Every time a TV network gives airtime to an author who wants to overturn the concept of sexual morality, I know that liberals hate children.
When divorce rates rise to 50% or more, I know that liberals have successfully created a culture that hates children.
And yes, when parents put their toddlers in daycare in order to support a materialistic lifestyle, I know that liberals have taught most of us to live as though we hate children.
Liberalism is an essentially selfish philosophy. Children require selflessness and sacrifice. Children need their parents, they need protection, they need to be nurtured, they need to be taught morality.
I haven't always known these things. I haven't always conducted my life according to this knowledge. But now I know.
I hear ya. I liked the personal bit at the end.
So are liberals motivated by their hatred of children or is the suffering of children the outcome of their selfish actions?
If the latter is the case, then maybe "careless with regard to the welfare of children (born & unborn)" would be a more accurate generalisation to make of liberals.
maybe "careless with regard to the welfare of children (born & unborn)" would be a more accurate generalisation to make of liberals.A remarkable suggestion, coming from you, but given how many of the above examples involve actions that the actor takes with the knowledge that they will lead to hardship and even death for the children involved, I've gotta stick with "hate."
So you are stating that liberals are motivated by a hatred of children.
Liberals are motivated by extreme selfishness, which is most poignantly seen by their attitude toward children. Whether it be cloaked in concern for the environment, overpopulation, reproductive rights, human rights, or the desire for personal happiness the result is the same - children suffer.
At the very least, it's a reliable method for predicting the behavior of liberals.
Another good book regarding the issue of chastity versus "safe sex" is Unprotected...
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