Love, Honor And -- WHAT?!?

Radical Catholic Mom had a post asking for comments about the nature of masculinity (H/T: Catholic Pillow Fight, who has some of his own comments about the roles of husband and wife):

To my male readers, I AM sorry that I equated masculinity with machismo and negativity. Here is where you can educate me. What do YOU my male readers think makes a truly masculine man?

I have to tell you right up front: When I start hearing words like "power" "leadership" etc, I cringe. So to help me out, I need you to define what you think those mean in terms of the household relationships.

When I came across this week-old post this morning, no one had yet commented. I attribute this to the fact that the correct answer is so very politically incorrect as to be almost unthinkable, and very nearly unspeakable. So here's what I said:

To me, masculinity is about maturity, responsibility, and authority, in that order.

A man must make himself -- and strive to keep himself -- worthy of respect. This is both simpler and harder than it sounds: all he must do is comport himself respectably and respectfully.

But to be respectable, he must have something to contribute to his community in order to support himself and his family. He must have self-confidence and self-respect, but also humility. No one could have respect for a man who did not somehow display these qualities.

And he must show respect for those around him who work to comport themselves respectably, also show respect for the laws and conventions of his society.

Why then, are so many men such failures in these things? Why do men not respect themselves or others? Why are they irresponsible, lazy, and selfish?

Because women let them get away with it.

If most women demanded respectful and respectable behavior from men as a condition of associating with them, most men would straighten up and fly right.

What might the world be like if every woman held prospective mates to this standard?

I have to tell you right up front: When I start hearing words like "power" "leadership" etc, I cringe.

Why would these words make you cringe? Is your ideal man powerless? Incapable or unworthy of leadership? Weak? Are you such a poor follower?

There is no one who is not under some sort of authority to someone else.

Within a family, a man is under the authority of God, the state, and his employer. If he is self-employed, he is answerable to his clients or customers. If he is an employer, he has an added responsiblity to his employees.

As a husband, he bears responsibility for his family, for the care of his wife and children, and for their protection. True, not so many sabre-tooth tigers to worry about these days, but how are the tires on the family car? How are the locks on the doors?

A husband (the word "husband" means caretaker) should be the head of his family, as Christ is the head of the Church. His wife should respect him and -- yes -- obey him; and she should teach his children to do the same.

Now, some may want to ask: "Hey Regular Guy! What does your wife think of this?" To which I can only answer: "Why do you think I call her 'the Extraordinary Wife'?"